Where’s Addie? A Travel Journal from the Edge of Change

One of the many gifts of aging is how young we still feel, until the mirror, news, or an aching knee reminds us otherwise. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I wonder: Is that woman with gray hair and deep smile lines really me? Where’s Addie? 

Couple the physical changes with the loss of childhood friends and our old TV crushes, and, well, it can all just seem… hard. I vacillate between the sadness of loss and the hilarity of aging. I mean, how is my son nearly 35 when I’m only 40? 🤷🏿‍♀️😆

If we agree with the ancient philosophers, life is an opportunity for examination. Socrates is credited with saying, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” So, I examine. Each new iteration of me is an opportunity to explore different facets of my identity. It’s not that I’m not the same person, I’m simply, to quote my friend Katherine,  “like a turtle acquiring a new shell.” 

Aging brings challenges and discoveries. But, when the world also feels like it’s in chaos, the whole process is disorienting. The daily grind can feel like too much. 

When the world feels like it’s spinning off its axis, life starts to feel too small. Nothing quite makes sense, and my spirit gets restless. More than restless, I feel lost. It’s hard to design a “new shell” while living in #TheAgeofChaos. Chaos impacts our ability to dream. It’s nearly impossible to imagine something new when we can’t see past the old. 

And so, in those moments, I answer the sirens’ call of far-off lands, and I travel.

Before I leave this world, I want to see everything: sunsets over unfamiliar landscapes, new mountains, new seas. This time, I embarked on a journey to Europe, specifically to the heart of the EU, Brussels, with days spent in Bruges, Paris, and Amsterdam. 

These writings are born from that journey. For me, every passerby and every new connection is an invitation to bridge the distance that seems to divide us.  In travel, I slow down time to find calm in the chaos and remember that change, like aging, isn’t something to fear but something to honor. Each moment of connection becomes part of the new shell I’m building.

Next Week: What happens when the bags you carry aren’t yours, but you still have to carry them?